A bang to remember!

Tuesday 18th July. Nice enough day weather wise, I decided to go out onto my swing seat in the garden with my coffee. I sat for a bit and the rain started so I stood up, took the swing seat cushion under one arm and my coffee cup and phone in the other and headed inside. A multitasking walk I have done many many times. 

I have no idea what happened but I felt myself falling and  flying to the wall in a strange slow motion then.........

 BANG!

Area in the middle, the brownish bits.......that's my head mark and skin!

I knew instantly it was not good. The pain in my head was beyond words. I crawled inside to the stairs and shouted on my son Marcus who luckily had a day off and was home. 

I have never experienced real "shock". This feeling was beyond anything and I have been in my life in a train crash, thrown from horses,  head on car crash but this was different. 

I had rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, anxiety and the pain in my head was amazing. 

Marcus called Mike who appeared in seconds it felt like. I had harling from the wall sticking out my head, right hand was grazed in a few places ( must of scaped the wall) and I had banged my left knee.

We attended A&E and was looked over and sent away with a head injury leaflet. It was in A&E I discovered how much hair I had lost as I managed to gather a rather large hair ball!

Hair loss!

I went home via the chemist for some pain killers and a cooling migraine pad for my forehead. I figured I would be sore the next day then be ok! How wrong was I??

The next day I woke and was obviously stiff and achy but the following day the facial swelling started and the black eyes appeared. 

THIS ONE SCARES THE BEJESUS OUT OF ME!

At this point my neck and shoulders were still sore. Not surprisingly after my head forcing my neck to concertina into my shoulders with my full obese weight behind it! I contacted the GP a week after it as I was sure I should of been seeing improvement but every day seemed to be getting worse with the pain and now began light sensitivity. 

I returned to have a CT head and neck. I take it nothing dramatic as I have heard nothing! I wouldn't be surprised if my skull was cracked at the impact site but currently 3.5 weeks on so would be almost healed!  

I have pushed self care and self management to the most i can. I have been visiting my cousins  Holistic Cabin Complementary Therapies By Angela weekly and have now had 3 massages, 2 of which included cupping and some reflexology. I would say this has helped so so much. Mike kindly set up the Lazy spa which I used daily for a week for an hour at a time and that helped too.

I went to the opticians also for a full eye check as the only trouble I have now is the Photophobia. This is considered one of the most commonly encountered symptoms of concussion and post-concussion syndrome.  It was most painful at the impact site and deep behind the left eye. I was only happy looking down with either a hat and dark glasses on or sitting inside in the dark living room. 

I am trying very hard over the next week to increase my tolerance to light. Monday this week was a set back, I felt great and had hoped to return to work the next week. I entered Asda with no hat or sunglasses on, just my normal specs. I managed the fruit and buy the time I was leaving the vegetables I could feel the pressure on my head building, by the time I finished the meat section I could feel my eye twitching and upon reaching the milk I felt physically sick. Silly me for maybe trying too fast.

 So over the next week I aim to be out daily, in the sun ( hopefully) or shop with simply the hat on or the shades. I aim to build up my light tolerance enough to return to work to do some short shifts for 2 weeks before I am on annual leave for 2 weeks. I am feeling more like myself again now too, I was kidding myself that I could easily pass for Angelina Jolie or some other super famous person in Tesco the other day with the hat pulled down and not looking up! 

I am gutted to be missing my friends Hen Night but I am focusing on being back at work and being there at the wedding. I have ordered a large brimmed hat for the service not just for the eye protection but for covering the bald bit!

Why am I posting this? To reflect in years to come about it. Reflecting on something, as all that 3 years of university nursing degree drummed in to us gives us a tool in this case to move on. For me, creating this post is my way of figuring out how to process and reflect upon what happened, what could of happened and  dump it and move on.

Its given me a massive empathy with people who loose their confidence through falls or other life events. I am always normally a very confident person who gives no fucks but the last 3 weeks I seen myself be very vulnerable and scared of even walking out the door at times.

Am getting back to my normal self one day at a time..